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She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was going to do something. He put his hand on her shoulder and she could feel he was trembling. She didn’t know what he was going to do and tried to pull away, but his grip on her was too strong. She tried to look towards the direction she’d seen Claire and Debbie go, but he grabbed her head and pulled her face towards him.

Katy had to look into those steely eyes and as she did so, he bent his head further and kissed her. First just a touch on the lips, but then, as if driven by some warped desire, he tried to kiss her harder and grabbed her. She was shocked and repulsed and terrified all at the same time, but worse than that, she felt dirty and bad. She knew it was wrong what he’d done and she knew it wasn’t going to stop. If he’d risk that in a place like this, with the threat of his own daughter appearing anytime, he would risk anything. That was when Katy realised how dangerous he really was. She started shaking and her lip was quivering.

She tried pulling away and his grip tightened even more. He got angry at first and then he smirked. It was a sick smile that she would never forget. He said that no matter how much she pretended she didn’t like it and didn’t want him to do it, he knew she enjoyed it and that it was all part of growing up. He told her not to fight it and just relax. He let go of her arm and by now her eyes were brimming with tears. Katy put her head down, ashamed, yet she’d done nothing wrong.

She backed away from him and as she did so he looked alarmed. She thought he’d realised what he’d done and was sorry, but it wasn’t that at all. He’d spotted Claire coming out of the woods. He told Katy that if she said anything to Claire about what he’d done, he would blame her and say she was lying and fantasising.

He said if she valued his daughters’ friendship she would keep quiet.

“That’s what a true friend would do,” he said.

Katy didn’t want to upset him and make him angry, so she wiped away her tears with the back of her hand and set off running towards Claire and Debbie. Claire noticed her eyes were wet and asked if she’d been crying, but Katy assured her it was just the sun making her eyes water. Claire laughed at her and told her she would be no good abroad, then raced up the slope to where her father was.

He was lying on the grass now as if nothing had happened and pretended he’d been asleep. Katy found out later that Claire had been sent to look for mushrooms as her father told her he’d seen some on his walk earlier. She loved mushrooms, especially for breakfast and he’d promised her a full cooked breakfast, with bacon and the full works next morning if she went and collected them herself. He’d told her to take Debbie with her, but leave Katy where she was because he thought she looked tired. Katy had been too busy day dreaming and hadn’t heard the conversation.

He’d caught her when she least expected it. She swore to herself she wouldn’t let it happen again, but it wouldn’t be that easy!

Now, here she was, hiding in the cupboard, having to protect herself from his sick, perverse grasp. She heard him walk into the bedroom, her bedroom. Again, he called her name, but this time she sensed his smirk as he did so. The image of his sick smile crossed her mind and she shivered involuntarily. She wanted to scream and shout, but knew she couldn’t.

She mustn’t.

She had to remain as quiet and still as she could or he would find her and he was no longer satisfied by a forced kiss or a sly touch. He knew Katy wouldn’t risk telling her parents. They were friends and she was frightened that if her parents found out, her dad would kill him and go to prison. He’d made sure he planted that idea in her head too, so that she’d be too scared to tell. That’s what they do, you see, Paedophiles. They make you believe if they get caught it’s your fault and that you’ll lose everything. Your family, your friends, your dignity.

Katy knew how far he intended to go if he got the chance. He’d indicated as much and warned her that he was tired of waiting and wanted to show her how much he liked her. She was only twelve years old, but she knew what he was talking about. She knew what he wanted from her. He’d told her enough times and even tried to show her pictures once, but she’d refused to look and managed to get away.

She’d been lucky so far, because he hadn’t had the opportunity to keep her long enough or in a situation where he wouldn’t be seen or disturbed by anyone. But Katy knew that if he got his hands on her today, with no-one to stop him or help her, he would hurt her. She was prepared to do anything, even risk suffocating in this small, airless cup-board., to stop him.

He shouted her name again, this time angrily and she heard him leave the room. She heard his footsteps pass by her, by the cupboard as he went into her parents’ bedroom and then her brothers. He was wheezing by now and she heard him breathing close by. He was right outside the cupboard. He moved again and Katy heard his footsteps as he crossed the landing. By now he was near the bathroom and she heard him swear as he opened the door and saw she wasn’t there. He must’ve pushed open the toilet door because Katy heard it bang against the wall. It always did that if you pushed it too hard. Her dad had once grumbled because it had left a dint in the wall. She was hoping and praying in her mind that he’d just leave at this point, and she would’ve given anything to be able to uncurl her aching body and climb out of her hiding place.

She listened for any sound, but couldn’t hear anything except her heart beating. It was so loud, she was sure he’d hear it. Suddenly, Katy heard him come back across the landing.

“Oh God,” she thought, “He knows I’m here.”

He stopped right outside the cupboard and she heard the handle turn. She couldn’t see it move as it was too dark. In her imagination though, she saw it move and open and she was waiting for him to grab her. But he didn’t. He couldn’t open it. He knew she was in there though, and he pulled at it and banged, but he couldn’t get the door open.

Katy was too frightened to be grateful and was holding her breath so he wouldn’t hear her breathe. He stopped banging and she heard him saying something quietly, but couldn’t hear what he said. Then she heard him move away from the door. She thought he was going to kick it down or get something to force it open, but he didn’t.

She was shocked, but immensely relieved to hear his footsteps disappearing over the landing to the stairs, then, she heard the stairs creak as he descended them. For a minute she was going to open the door and climb out. Her body ached so much and she could hardly breathe, but something stopped her. Her gut instincts were telling her to stay put. It wasn’t safe. He was tricking her, waiting downstairs for her to come out, then he would race up and catch her. Katy wasn’t in any state to put up a fight. She was too scared and too stiff.

“No. I must wait a while longer and see what happens,” she thought to herself, so she didn’t move.

As much as she hurt and was struggling to breathe, she stayed where she was. By now, she was so tired and her body was so hot and dry.

After what seemed like hours she must’ve fallen asleep, because the next thing she remembered was the front door banging shut. At first she thought it was HIM leaving or pretending to, but then she heard her sister singing and realised it must be after three o’clock. She knew she’d been asleep for quite a while. Either that or she’d fainted, but she knew that when you faint it’s not for long, so she thought she must’ve just fallen asleep.

Her fingers ached, but she managed to unhook the lock and open the door. The lock had saved her. Katy was exhausted, but euphoric. She’d outwitted him. She knew if she’d done it once, she could do it again and again, and for the first time in two long years of playing cat and mouse, she felt as though she might actually be able to keep him at bay. But for how long? She didn’t know. She couldn’t think straight.

Katy knew that sooner or later she had to get help or he would win, but right now all she wanted was to enjoy her victory and have a cold drink. She would think about that later when she felt strong enough!

After the incident of hiding in the tank cupboard, it was a few weeks before she had cause to worry again. She was feeling particularly pleased with herself that she’d managed to avoid HIM and still managed to spend time with her friend Claire.

Katy loved Claire’s company. They were really close and did everything together as much as they could. They were like sisters and because their parents were close friends too, there weren’t many times when she had to be near Claire’s father without her parents being present. He tried often enough, but she was always a step ahead and would stay as close to the door way as possible so as to ensure a hasty retreat if necessary.

One day in Summer, Claire asked Katy to sleep at her house. Claire had slept at her house for the last two weekends and she’d made excuses not to stay at hers. On this occasion, she asked Katy to stay over while her mother was in the room and her mother answered for her.

“Of course she will love,” her mum said. “It’ll be company for you and I know Debbie loves her staying. I’ll get you all some goodies to share and it’ll be fun.”

Before Katy had chance to say anything, her mum shot her a glance that said she’d do as she was told.

Her mum was very fond of Claire and Katy knew she didn’t like to hurt her feelings. She had no choice. Whether she liked it or not, she was going to Claire’s house. Her mum arranged for her dad to drop her off there later that evening and the girls set about planning what they would do. Katy was anxious, but knowing that Claire’s mum would be there too, she allowed herself to relax and forget about her worries.

Claire had dinner with them and then she had to go and visit her grandma. She invited Katy, but she thought it would be better to stay and get her room tidied before she went to hers for the night, so they said their goodbyes and she left. Katy’s bedroom wasn’t that untidy, but she knew her dad would give her a hard time if it wasn’t done properly. After she was sure her bedroom was up to her father’s standard, she packed her pyjamas and other things ready to stay at Claire’s.

She was sat watching TV with her sister and brother and her mum, when her father came in from outside. He’d been cleaning the car and checking the air in his tyres. He popped his head round the door and said,

“Hey trouble, are you ready to go, cos’ boy are we ready to get rid of you.”

Katy knew he was teasing, but shot him a disapproving glance anyway, just to go along with him. He grinned and went into the kitchen. She went up to her room and got her stuff and then, after saying bye to her mum and family, went out to the car where her dad was already waiting. On the way to Claire’s house, he was telling her what he was going to watch on TV later. Katy teased him and said,

“You are if they let you,” meaning her mum, brother and sister.

He grinned and said,

“I’m the boss. Don’t you worry about that.”

“Yeah right,“ she giggled.

Her mother was the boss in their house and he knew it. Katy loved her dad and her mum equally, but she always wanted to make her dad proud of her. Her brother was always his special one and Katy and her sister always felt they were second best to him.

They’d reached her friend’s house and as she got out of the car, her father was already indicating to pull out.

“You’re not coming in then?” she asked.

“Not got time love,” he replied. “You have a good time, but behave.”

With that he started to drive off. As he did so he shouted, “No booze and no boys,” and grinned.

Katy just pulled a face after him and watched him disappear down the road. For some reason, she felt very alone. She was soon distracted by Debbie running out of the door dressed in a pair of satin Chinese style pyjamas. She came flying down the path shouting,

“Look. Look what grandma got me. Aren’t they pretty.” She was really excited.

Claire followed closely wrapped in a beautiful kimono style dressing gown.

“Wow,” Katy exclaimed. “They’re gorgeous. You’re really lucky. My grandma never gets me anything. I’m lucky to get a birthday card off her.”

She didn’t need to say anything else. Claire knew she didn’t get much.

“You can have my old one. I don’t need it now I’ve got this.” She was so generous.

“It’s okay, “Katy replied. “You don’t have to give me it.”

“Well I can’t wear two at once can I,” she said, “So you might as well have it. It’ll only get given to someone down the road. I’d rather you had it than anyone else.”

Katy didn’t argue. She was happy to have it. She didn’t care if it was Claire’s ‘cast offs.’ She was her best friend and they were always sharing things. Claire grabbed Katy’s bag and Debbie grabbed her hand, dragging her up the path and into the house. Like all young girls who have sleepovers, they were giddy and excited and happy. They went straight upstairs to Claire’s bedroom and put her record player on. Soon they were lost in a fantasy world with David Essex and The Osmonds.

After they’d unpacked Katy’s things and decided what they wanted for supper, they went downstairs. Claire’s mum had heated the water up so they could have a bath. She went first and Katy sat in the living room with Debbie and her mum. HE was out. She didn’t ask where he was. She wasn’t interested.

Although, Claire and her family had more money than Katy’s family had, their house was smaller and their bathroom was downstairs in a room just off the kitchen. Because it was such a small room, they had a folding door on the bathroom. This was to make more room in the bathroom without the door taking up space when open. In her innocence, Katy never even thought about how easy it would be to go in the bathroom while someone was in the bath. The door had no lock on it and she hadn’t even noticed. When Claire had finished and it was her turn to go in the bath, Katy was looking forward to the soak. She poured some bath foam in and let the bath fill up while she got undressed. There was a chair in the bathroom to put clothes on, but there wasn’t much room for anything else and she could see the practicality of the folding door.

“Good idea,” She thought to herself.

Once she’d undressed, Katy climbed in the hot bath and lay back as far as she could. It felt lovely and she was quite relaxed. Even when she heard voices in the living room and realised HE was back home, she wasn’t alarmed. Claire and her mum and sister were there so she felt quite safe. Then Katy heard the front door slam shut and she thought Claire’s dad must’ve gone out again.

She noticed Debbie’s doll on the side of the bath. It had no clothes on and it’s hair was a mess, so Katy decided to tidy it up for her. She was busy plaiting the long brown hair, when a voice piped up,

“She’s got a right pair of breasts hasn’t she? And so have you.”

Horrified, she looked up to see Claire’s father standing in the doorway. She was terrified and embarrassed. She grabbed her towel and pulled it towards her. He leaned forward and, while trying to grab it, said, “I’ve seen them now. Don’t be shy. They’re nice. Coming on nicely and you should be proud of them.”

Katy tugged at the towel and managed to win it. She was just about to scream when he smiled and spoke, “They’re out at the ice cream van,” he sniggered. “I can see them through the window from here. We’re okay. As soon as they come towards the house, I’ll nip back in the room.”

He said it as if she was pleased he was in the bathroom with her. As if she wanted him to look at her.

“Go away,” Katy yelled. “I’ll tell them.”

He glared at her.

“No you won’t and you know it,” he said. “You made me like this. Teasing me and not letting me touch. You know, you want it and I’m going to make sure you get it. Maybe not today, but it’ll happen.”

“Want what? I don’t want anything. Please leave me alone. I’ll tell. I swear I will.” she said.

She wanted to cry, but daren’t. She didn’t know if they’d believe her. She hadn’t teased him. She knew she hadn’t, but it was her word against his and he was an adult. They wouldn’t believe her. He had a sick smirk on his face. At that moment he realised what was going through Katy’s head and he just turned round to go back into the other room. He threw her a backward glance as he left the room and she sank down as far in the bath as she could, trying to wash away the horror of what had just happened.

She managed to gather her wits about her and climbed out of the bath. She closed the door and as she did so, she realised there was no way he could’ve seen through the living room window. It was impossible. The door leading to the living room was across from the bathroom. He’d taken a big chance by doing what he did and he must’ve known that.

Katy didn’t understand why he’d take such a risk, but she also realised that he wasn’t normal. He was sick and sooner or later he was going to hurt her, if she wasn’t careful. She knew she would never be safe until he got what he wanted and even then, it wouldn’t be enough.

While Katy was thinking these thoughts, she dried herself and put her pyjamas on. Her mother was always telling her and her sister not to sleep in pants. She said it wasn’t healthy. Tonight though, Katy made sure she kept hers on under her pyjamas. She wasn’t sure why. Instinct, she supposed. She wrapped the old dressing gown round her that Claire had given her and tied the belt. Katy felt safe somehow knowing that it had been Claire’s. Maybe it would remind him of his daughter and keep him at bay. When she went through to the living room it was getting dark outside so Claire’s mum got up and closed the curtains. They were all settled in the living room watching TV. Katy had managed not to have any eye contact with Claire’s dad and he seemed engrossed in the programme on TV. She had no idea what they watched that night. Her mind was busy with other matters. Like how to deal with this terrible secret. The phone rang, making her jump. Claire answered it.

“It’s for you mum. It’s work.” She handed the receiver to her mum and sat back down.

She started chatting to her dad about the programme. Katy was listening to Claire’s mum on the phone. The hairs on the back of her neck stood to attention as she heard her say,

“What now, at this time? Can’t you get anyone else to cover? It’s not my turn. Well okay then, but I’m not happy about it. Especially nights. It’s a good job, my husband is here or I wouldn’t have been able to. I’ll be through in an hour.”

Katy could feel the fear rising inside her as the reality of the conversation hit her. Claire’s mum was going to work. Tonight. She couldn’t. She mustn’t. Katy didn’t want her to. Not with him here. Not alone. All these thoughts were racing through her mind and she was numb with horror. She saw Claire’s mother replace the receiver and shake her head.

“They want me to work tonight. One of the staff has been taken to hospital and they’ve got no cover. I’ll do it because it’s extra money, But I’m not pleased.”

She looked at her husband as she spoke. Katy followed her look and saw him pull a face.

“Oh dear and we’ve got company staying too. Never mind. She’s in good hands.”

Then he looked at Katy and smiled.

“Don’t worry love,” he said to her, “You’ll be just fine.”

An icy fear gripped Katy and she shivered.

“Are you cold love,” said Claire’s mum. “You shouldn’t be. It’s warm tonight. Hope you’re not getting a chill.”

“She stayed too long in the bath.” Claire said to her mum. “Bet the water was freezing when she got out.”

She jumped up off the sofa and grabbed Katy’s arm, pulling her up.

“Come on. We’ll go up stairs and talk in bed.”

They said goodnight to Claire’s parents and went upstairs. Debbie was already in bed by this time and Katy could hear her softly snoring in the next room. As they sat down on the bed she had an idea.

“Claire,” she said, “Would you mind if I slept next to the wall. It’s just that I get a bit restless sometimes, and if I lie near the wall, it stops me wriggling about so much.”

Claire looked at Katy with an odd expression on her face.

“You’ve never said anything before. I know what’s wrong with you. You don’t have to pretend. I’m your friend remember. You’ve been acting funny all night. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Katy’s heart missed a beat. She knew. Katy was both relieved and frightened at the same time. What if she didn’t believe her? What if she took her dads side?

“You’re scared of the dark,” Claire teased gently. “It’s ok,” she added. “I won’t tell anyone. Of course you can sleep near the wall.”

Katy didn’t reply. She couldn’t. What could she have said? She took the kimono off and slid over to the wall. She snuggled down and tried to calm her nerves. She had a feeling it was going to be a sleepless night. How could she even think about sleeping?

What if HE came in and did something? But then Katy remembered where she was and who she was with. He wouldn’t dare do anything while she was in the same room as his own daughter. In the same bed even. She smiled to herself.

They’d been in bed about an hour, both wide awake and giggling when there was a knock at the door. It was Claire’s dad.

“You two okay,” he asked.

“Course we are dad. We’re just going to watch a bit more TV, then we’re going to sleep aren’t we?”

She looked at Katy and winked. Katy nodded back.

“I’m just making some hot chocolate. We’ve loads of milk and it needs using up. Would you like some,” he asked.” It’ll help you sleep.”

“Ooh, yes please dad,” Claire replied. “Do you want us to come and make our own?”

“Don’t be daft,” he replied. “You two carry on watching TV. I’ll make you some and bring it up.”

He went downstairs and returned about fifteen minutes later with two steaming hot mugs and a small plate of chocolate digestives.

“Get that lot down you,” he ordered, “then let’s have you both to sleep. It’s getting late.”

They ate the biscuits as they talked and drank the chocolate. It was lovely and sweet and they drank every last drop. The girls talked for a little while longer, but then, surprisingly, Katy started to feel tired. Claire was yawning too and so they said goodnight and settled down to sleep. Katy was amazed at how tired she was. She didn’t really have time to think about what had happened earlier.

Within minutes of the light going out she was asleep.

She drifted in and out of dreams. One was quite disturbing. She felt like she was floating through the air. Then she began to dream she was being carried. One minute she was dreaming she was at home in her own bed, then she dreamed she was in Claire’s bed.

Next she dreamed she was in Claire’s father’s bed and he was grinning at her. She was trying to move, but her body felt heavy and she was paralysed.

It was so frightening and she felt so helpless. Katy woke up with a start. She looked round the room frantically and then realised she was still in Claire’s bed. Claire was fast asleep beside her.

She allowed herself to drift back off to sleep. The next thing she knew, it was morning and the sun was creeping in through the crack in the curtains. She could hear Claire snoring. She was still asleep.

Katy was just going to go back to sleep herself, when she realised something that terrified her.

She was on the wrong side of the bed. Claire was next to the wall and she was on Claire’s side. She remembered her restless night and those dreams. Panic struck and she could feel her stomach contents rising into her throat. Her heart was racing and she wanted to scream, but she didn’t, she couldn’t. Besides her, Claire was waking up. She wriggled around and then turned to face Katy.

“Morning,” she said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I woke up cold in the night and had to get out of bed for a jumper. As soon as I moved, you rolled over to my side and I didn’t want to wake you, so I crawled in next to the wall.”

Her words were like music to Katy’s ears. She felt so relieved. She smiled at Claire, and at that moment, felt she was the dearest thing to her.

“I don’t mind at all,” Katy told her, “In any case, I didn’t have trouble sleeping so you didn’t disturb me.”

Then she smiled and thanked her for being her best friend. Claire smiled back and said,

“We’ll always be friends won’t we? I wish you were my sister. You’ve always been here for me and we get on so well.”

Katy assured her that they would always be friends and nothing would change that. Claire was her best friend and she trusted Katy. They shared all their dreams and secrets. She knew Claire loved her father dearly. How could she hurt her after she’d been so good to her?

It crossed Katy’s mind that, had she not spared Claire’s feelings, her pain and suffering would have ended sooner, but the guilt and the shame would’ve been too much for Claire.

Katy made the only decision a twelve year old thought possible. She determined to say nothing and spare her friend.

She would remember that night’s conversation many times later.

Katy was trapped.